She nods. That’s the second taboo: the agreement to return.
Lying in bed, she traces the taboo in the dark air above her: a triangle of silence, desire, and danger. She knows it will end badly. Not movie-bad, not blood-and-sirens bad. Just the slow erosion of a self she hasn’t finished building. The real taboo, she realizes, is not what she does with him. It’s what she stops doing with everyone else. Taboo 1 -1980-
The year turns. 1981 is coming. The eighties will harden into shoulder pads and cocaine and fear. But tonight, it is still 1980—a hinge, a crack in the door, a girl holding a match she hasn’t struck yet. She nods
She climbs the stairs. In her room, she presses her palm to the wall, where on the other side her parents sleep in separate beds. She can hear the low murmur of the television—Johnny Carson, maybe. Laughter. Then silence. She knows it will end badly
The taboo isn’t sex. Not yet. The taboo is the knowing . She knows she shouldn’t be here. He knows she knows. The waitress knows, and doesn’t care—she’s seen a hundred versions of this booth, this rain, this lie. The jukebox plays “Heart of Glass” for the third time, and the neon sign outside ( EAT ) flickers the T into an F every four seconds.
Outside, a car passes. She listens for the Buick’s idle. Nothing.
He is twenty-three. He wears a leather jacket that isn’t broken in, just broken. He says things like “You’re not like the others” and means it, for about six hours. His car’s tape deck plays The Clash, then Springsteen, then nothing but static and the hiss of tape winding.