For the first few months, their relationship was a cautious dance. Alex had been burned before—a previous boyfriend who wanted their relationship to be a secret, a "roommate" to his family. Jordan had only ever been in relationships that mimicked straight ones: a clear "man" and "woman" role, which always left him feeling like he was wearing ill-fitting clothes.
"It's just a film," Jordan said, frustrated. Pictures sex- relationships sex gays- school.
"It's another film," Alex countered. "The gay best friend who dies of AIDS. The tragic, closeted politician. The punchline of a joke. Where are the pictures of us just... grocery shopping? Arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes? Falling asleep on the couch watching bad reality TV?" For the first few months, their relationship was
By the end of the year, Alex’s photo series was turned into a book. Jordan wrote the accompanying essays. They dedicated it: "To the love you can’t see in a single frame, but can feel across an entire lifetime. And to every person who needs to know: your ordinary, extraordinary love story matters." "It's just a film," Jordan said, frustrated
Inspired, Alex started a new photo series. He called it "Us, in the Ordinary Light." He photographed Jordan not in glamorous poses, but in moments of real life: Jordan, bleary-eyed, making coffee in his old band t-shirt. Jordan, laughing so hard he snorted. Jordan, carefully watering the basil plant on their windowsill. He also photographed other gay couples he knew—a pair of dads wrestling with a toddler, two women in business suits arguing good-naturedly over a spreadsheet at a cafe.
An older man stood in front of that photo for a long time, tears in his eyes. He introduced himself to Alex. "My partner of fifty years died last spring," he said. "For most of our life, there were no pictures of us. We were a rumor, a scandal, a sin. No one saw our love as something beautiful or ordinary. It was always political, always a statement." He looked back at the photo. "But this... this is just two people who choose each other. Every single day. That's the story I wish I'd seen when I was young."